How About A Holiday With No Shopping At All!!!

So maybe its the fact that I am completely broke right now, but the thought of a holiday with my family without ANY shopping at all is sounding pretty appealing right about now!

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Let’s face it, unless you have time to peruse through little boutiques and markets, shopping at big box stores or the mall during the holidays is no fun at all! They don’t do it in those Hallmark movies we are all so addicted to do they!?!  Not once, has the leading character from Christmas Lane, while staying at the local inn in the most charming town you have ever seen, ran out to Walmart to haul in three buggy loads of stuff to wrap and stuff under the Christmas tree!  You see, that’s why we love Hallmark movies so much!  They enjoy and remind us of the simplicity of Christmas – Love, family and hope!

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Now that’s not to say that I won’t be doing some shopping this season (you heard that right, I have barely even started)!  I have an 8 year old little boy who will expect that he has been good enough for presents on Christmas morning! And teenage daughters – I do not need to elaborate on this one! But so far this season I have enjoyed not stressing over what I am going to BUY everyone!  I made some candles for Hayden’s teachers awhile back and have picked a present or so for the girls but that’s about it so far, and I’m lovin’ it!  Our family decided to otherwise scale back on gifts except to the little ones and Husband and I hardy ever buy for each other. Instead of my holiday planning revolving around what I need to buy, I have spent time thinking up new dishes for Christmas morning and inviting my grandparents to enjoy the day with us!

What can you do to re-think your holiday and make it less stressful?  Let yourself have that Hallmark movie!

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5 Reasons Why Coaching Your Own Kid Stinks

I have been coaching basketball for 8 years now and I do not hold back the fact that I LOVE coaching and I LOVE my team, but its not always as easy as it seems!  It started out all innocent and fun…during Elle’s first season of recreational basketball she was the only girl on the team and the neanderthals coaching the team paid absolutely no attention to her, or many of the other kids for that fact.  She learned very little about dribbling or the rules of the game – things first year players should learn!  So, after that season I decided that I knew way more about basketball than those guys and could at least communicate with the children without grunting…and 8 years later I’ve coached recreational basketball, travel teams of all ages, a middle school team, a junior varsity team and have had the varsity team at our local high school for the last 4 years.

I love coaching young athletes, I love seeing them grow and mature, not only in their basketball skill but as young women!  For many years I gave up coaching my own kid in travel so that I could coach the high school teams.  I missed travel and middle school games in which Elle was playing so that  I could be there for practices for my team to advance our program.  Some nights I hated it, but my pout didn’t last too long, as I loved being in the gym with my players, having faith that Elle was surrounded by coaches that loved her in the same way and our family cheering for her in my place.

Now though, she has finally made it to my roster and I have come to the realization that, at least at this level, it stinks coaching your own kid!  You see I think there is a common misconception that being the coach’s kid is a perk…wrong!  We are talking about a girl that has washed more stinky uniforms than she can count, has endured cold nights on a silent bus while Mom stews in the front seat after a loss (even though she wasn’t old enough to play in that particular game) and as a 5th grader even got recruited to ensure the varsity players were running the sprints they were to run as a punishment when Mom stormed out of the gym to collect herself in the locker-room!  Being a coach’s kid is NOT always fun! And now, shes on the roster!

Here are the Top 5 Reasons Coaching Your Own Kid Stinks:

1. I Am Always Second Guessing Myself.  When dealing with Elle I am constantly asking myself if I am talking to her and thinking about her in my “mom” voice or in my “coach” voice.  I second guess every decision I make – and it makes me feel horrible!  I have coached this team for 3 seasons without worry about what others think and say and now I am a mess!
2. When A Player Or Parent Is Mad At Me – They Take It Out On Her!  When this happens I want to kick into “momma bear” mode and tear apart the offender -it just cant happen though, and Elle has to learn to deal with it!
3. I Miss Big Moments And Plays!  Parents live for this right?  That moment when your kids does something so spectacular in a game that they can talk about on the way home and at work tomorrow!  Not me, I am focused on everyone’s big moments, and often miss hers – or they become a blur that I have to go back and watch on game film after another parent mentions it to me! My bragging to co-workers and peers is about my whole team!
4. I Am Still Relying On Her For The Dirty Jobs! Yep, she is still washing her (now teammates) smelly uniforms and helping to clean up the gym long after practice is over.  She was recently accused of getting more gym time than others…well she does alright, vacuuming the locker-room or cleaning trash out of lockers left by her teammates.
5.  I Miss Just Being Mom!  While I am more than thankful for the time we get together both at home and in the gym…Its difficult to console her after a loss when I have just told the team that I am disappointed in their performance and they need to work harder!  I miss the opportunity to just love on my kid!  I am vigilant though about reminding her that this is a game and no matter her performance (and what I say about it in the locker-room) I love her beyond measure and always will!  I sure hope she is listening…

 

Summer Is Finally Here – Time To Learn!

Hello Friends!  I apologize for being MIA but its been a busy few weeks and while I have thought about it repeatedly, I have simply not had the time or energy to sit down in front of my computer to write!  Today, I am supposed to be lounging at the lake reminiscing with some of my college teammates and their families, BUT life had other plans…sick kid, low funds, busy work schedule this week…it just didn’t work out!

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While I am super bummed that our plans didn’t work out, this is still the first official weekend of summer vacation for my kiddos and I have lots to do as we plan for them to be home for the summer!  This year we have decided that Elle is old enough and mature enough to help us out with Hayden – she is great with him and Husband and I are not usually very far from home for work.  In fact, Husband and I both have a home office we can work out of in a pinch!

So, Monday morning Hayden will start “Elle School”!  I am in the process of planning activities that will help to break up their days, while hopefully keeping Hayden motivated to read and learn so that starting school in August will not be miserable for him or Husband and I!  Also, it keeps BOTH of them from sitting in front of the television all day!

The first week’s activities will involved learning about volcanoes!  This is a request of Hayden’s since he caught a glimpse of a news clip of the erupting volcano in Hawaii. On task this week:

• volcano art project
•  Google search of volcano activity
• library trip for books on volcanoes and
• an actual erupting volcano in our back yard!!

Other topics Hayden wants to learn about this summer include dinosaurs (he can probably give this lecture rather than learn something new but that’s ok), other STEM projects, the solar system and race cars, including how the engines work!!  Hayden is also participating in a summer reading challenge through our local library (10 pages or one picture book a night will earn him a pool party!) Finally, our weekday summer plans for Hayden includes a few trips to children’s museums and lots of outdoor and pool time!

What types of summer activities do you have planned to keep your little ones’ minds engaged and having fun!?!

Mom Life – Are You A Mary or A Martha??

As women in today’s world we take the word “busy” to a whole new level!  In a life full of distractions and a society with a constant sense of “more” it is so easy to be swept up in the details of living everyday life that we miss the important parts!!  Today is the day we ask ourselves:  Are you a Martha or a Mary?

 

We began a women’s bible study in my church last night from a series called “Living Life Together.”  First of all let me say that for as many years as I have considered myself a Christian, with the exception of a brief summer youth group experience, I have never really participated in a bible study group!  So, this was a first for me, and had this been a month ago I would have told you that I was too busy to participate in a bible study on Wednesday evenings!  Occasionally it is refreshing to be wrong!!

The study began by chronicling the busy lives of women and how easy it is to become so preoccupied with the aspects of surviving the day to day of our very full lives that we step away from what is truly important.

In Luke 10:38-42 the bible chronicles the story of Mary and Martha, two sisters who learn that Jesus has come to their village and will visit their home!  As he arrives and is welcomed into the home, Mary simply sits at his feet – listening to Him and worshiping Him.  Meanwhile, Martha goes about the tasks of entertaining the Lord! Eventually, Martha becomes upset that Mary was of no help whatsoever with Jesus as their dinner guest! Martha finally breaks down and asks Jesus, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her to help me!”

Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

Now, most of us are cheering Martha on at this point right?  Help a girl out already! Its not everyday that the Lord is sitting in your living room – it needed to look like the pages of Southern Living or Better Homes and Gardens up in there!

The Lord’s response:  “Martha, you are troubled about many things, but only ONE THING is needed, and Mary has chosen the good part which shall not be taken away from her.”

The pastor in the country church I grew up in would say… “Ouch and Amen”

Are you a Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus, focusing on Him and the truly important things in life, or a Martha, being so busy entertaining and paying attention to the details that you miss the big picture — THE LORD IS IN YOUR HOME!  Put down the dish rag and go hang out with Him already!!!

Jesus was telling Martha that while it is important to serve, developing and nurturing a personal relationship with the Lord should be above all else.  In order to do that we must be completely present with Him – not just in the same room, busying around doing menial tasks!

This concept follows through to our families as well!  The title “Mom” also encompasses the role of problem-solver, mentor, housekeeper, cook, laundress, income-provider, psychologist, doctor, grounds keeper, maintenance worker, travel planner, and occasional veterinarian!  With all these roles it is easy to be CONSUMED with the multitude of things your family “needs” and at the same time, completely neglect spending time with our children and significant others.  I mean real, quality time here folks – not just being in the same room!  Be TOTALLY present!  Ouch and Amen again!

It is time we all be a little more like Mary – it is time to be with, instead to doing for!

Not that “doing for” is bad, in fact we are still called to serve and frankly, that laundry isn’t washing itself.  The point that I think Jesus is conveying to us, especially us busy moms, wives and women in general, is not to become so concentrated on our precious To Do Lists that we lose sight of what is most important – Our TIME developing a personal relationship with not only the Lord but also our families and loved ones!

This life is all about people & relationships make the most of it!

We are on the eve of Memorial Day Weekend and I have been struggling all week to determine what adventure Team Gunter can get into next – our decision after much prayer and discussion with Husband and Elle:  hanging out in our backyard – TOGETHER!

 

Weekend Adventure Awaits

“All practices and games are cancelled this weekend.”

These words strike excitement and a brief impression of FREEDOM deep down in the heart of almost every sports parent!  Not that we don’t love watching our little (or not so little) ones play the sport that they enjoy, but when you are constantly running here or there, juggling everyday life with practices, games and dirty uniforms, a little surprise like this is music to our ears!

When I read the post on the soccer complex’s web page Thursday afternoon I could hardly contain myself….”Let’s Go RIGHT NOW” was my initial thought….oh wait, Elle is still on a field trip and the kids have school tomorrow and oh yea…I have to work tomorrow!  Still, my mind is racing with all this freedom my family can experience this weekend.  Yes, it is supposed to rain ALL weekend, why do you think soccer is cancelled….its okay though, we have rain coats,  galoshes and a sense of adventure!!

 

The million dollar question…what type of adventure will be undertake!?!  I have written before about my love for the mini-vacation, so I am sure we can figure something out!

To be continued…

What type of mini-vacations/adventures do you enjoy?  What would you do with a weekend of freedom???

The Sisterhood of Mothers

“You were teaching me before I ever knew it…Welcoming me into the Sisterhood of Mothers”

Isn’t it amazing to be a woman!  I have had such a crazy few weeks between the everyday life of running my business and household, helping out with a women’s gathering at church, becoming an “auntie” again and Mothers Day; I am all sorts of charged up on the glorious state of being a woman and even more…a Mother!

In reflecting on the blessing of motherhood and of being a woman, whether you bear children or not, I am reminded of one incredible phrase…

“I am who my Creator made me to be…Worthy”  

This past weekend made me want to celebrate and recollect on all the amazing women in my life who have helped to shape me into the person I am today.  Women that God put in my path that were examples of grace and compassion, strength and poise and most importantly, love.  I also gained a realization that my impact on other women , including my daughters and surrogate daughters (aka my basketball team), is of great importance and I count the opportunity as a pure blessing each and every day.  It is in fact their presence in my life that reminds me of the person I continue to strive to be, of who I believe my God has made me to be.  It is certainly a call to action or in some cases inaction!

I was raised by possibly the strongest  woman you can imagine.  She was gritty and tough when she needed to be. She maintained a career (even changed careers to better provide for my sister and I), developed a loving home, somehow managed to accomplish all the regular mom goals with two super active kids all by herself, taught us the importance of faith and raised my sister and I to truly believe that we could accomplish anything we put our minds to if we were willing to work for it!  It is quite remarkable thinking about how she managed everything….I can’t imagine functioning day to day without my Husband helping out!  Even more so, she lost her own Mother at a very young age to cancer; her support system and friend.  It makes me truly thankful to have the blessing of my Mother to be a presence in the lives of my children.  I gift for which I will be forever thankful.

I am also very grateful for other amazing women that I have come across at all stages in my life that impacted me in almost every way.  A grandmother that shared a love for simple pleasures like the miracle of growing flowers in your garden and great-grandmother who was not only an entrepreneurial pioneer in her small community but also the matriarch of our family and had no problem keeping my grandpa in line, even as a grown man.  The mothers of many of my friends in elementary school and high school who welcomed me into their homes and whom gladly would have cared for any need I had and knew my mother did the same for their daughters; one of which could also give a glare to us teenagers in the back pews of the church on Sunday morning that made everyone within its path take notice and start shouting “amen!” Our pastor’s wife in the small country church I grew up in that loved so deeply and shared an amazing relationship with her Husband; multiple teachers in the elementary and high school I attended that taught me passion for topics I was interested in and how to turn that passion into a career as well as the importance of social conscience – the tiny community in which I grew up knew how to take care of its members in times of joy and in the depths of despair. College friends who warm my heart by just keeping in touch and seeing this families grow!  My first “real” boss when I was straight out of law school was an outstanding mentor, she was accomplished yet humble, very poised and stringent with detail but also kind and caring, especially to those within her inner circle, and super supportive as I took the first steps of independence in my legal career. The ladies in my women’s group at church that I have only recently met, but have given me an outlet like no other, that brings me closer to God and the woman and mother I was meant to be each day just by being around them and sharing our crazy family stories or kid catastrophes! And finally, my own two daughters and basketball team, which I have had the true blessing to watch grow into amazingly wonderful young women and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for them or how they will impact their communities, families and the world!

It is abundantly clear to me that being a woman is of great importance; even God ordained Mary to be the mother of the Savior and his supreme supporter even until the end.  Mary was trusting of God and his plan, courageous, strong in character, and accepting of her role in this life, even if it wasn’t easy or popular! Isn’t that what we as women strive to be; whether we are blessed with little tornadoes in our homes or not, we all have the ability to impact others around us in positive ways – and in the same ways God called Mary to impact the world.

So my friends, welcome to the Sisterhood of Mothers or maybe better put the Sisterhood of Strong, Courageous, Compassionate, Loving and Impactful Women…go forward and support the women in your life, love them, and be a woman whose presence will positively influence the lives of those around you.

A Letter To My Niece About the First “Best Day” of Her Life

Georgia Alice,

Today is the day! You are about to become a big sister! I want to tell you a story about the first best day of my life and give you a few tips as this momentous day unfolds for you!  Over the course of your life you are going to have several days that are turning points that can clearly be label a “best day” – your wedding day, the birth of your children, baptisms and TODAY…without a doubt the day that God has chosen to give you a sister is going to be the first “best day” of your little life!

The day your momma was born was certifiably the first very best day of my life.  I gained so much more in the instant that she was born than my four year old self could have ever imagined.  I remember most of the events that lead up to your momma making her entrance into this world; my favorite movie the night before with Granny and our cousins, a walk around the garden with Granny – it would be my last as an only child and the excitement of seeing her for the first time through a tiny glass window in a hospital door.  I remember being upset that I couldn’t hold her immediately and that my dad hadn’t lifted me up high enough to get a really good look at her!

The day your momma was born was the day that I came to understand, without a doubt, that God answers prayers, even those of a little girl.  You see, when I was not much older than you I prayed for a sister; Granny thinks it was actually my grandmother and great-grandmother who talked me into it.  I suppose they were hedging their bets – “from the mouths of babes…”  Either way, He answered; He sent directly to me, not only a sister but a best friend.  I knew from that day forward that she was mine and I have never thought of her as anything else but an answered prayer – a gift from God!

It was also the day that I learned that I could love another person more than myself and care for them in that way.  I could not stand to see your momma upset or hurt.  Granny will tell you that it was difficult to punish her as a child, even when that punishment was earned for doing something rotten to me – it broke my heart for her to be in trouble – so I would try to reason with Granny as to why she didn’t deserve the particular punishment.  (This was a skill I developed way back in my childhood that proves to be valuable to me today!) I learned to be protective of her until she was old enough and tough enough to beat up her own big kid bullies on the bus!  I  learned to be encouraging to her as I wanted her to be happy, strong and loving towards others.  I wanted her to know without a doubt that I was and will always be in her corner, by her side and there for her in any and every way possible – I love her that much!

The day your momma was born, I learned how to have a best friend, a play-mate and secret keeper for life.  I understand that not everyone is blessed with a sibling but I am beyond thankful for mine.  I am so happy for you, Georgia Alice, that you are about to meet your best friend.  Take care of her.  Love her beyond words, even when you aren’t necessarily happy with her.  Let her vent to you when she needs to, you are the only person in life that she will be able to do this with and she will listen when you need an outlet as well. .  Tell her the things she needs to hear, even when she doesn’t want to hear it – but do so in a loving way.  Be honest with her – always.  Take her places with you, I know that she will always be tagging along; you will come to appreciate this and miss it when you become adults and she isn’t living in the room next door.  Never hesitate to drop everything and go to her if she needs you – she will do the same for you.  Share your toys with her, and later clothes, by doing this she will learn to be giving to others and she will always share with you – it will have been the only thing she has known.  Do not let people tell you that “sisters fight” and “resent each other”; of course you will have disagreements but she is a blessing to you and your life is better for having her in it – do not allow anyone to tell you otherwise. Also, your mother will not tolerate bickering with your sister so just accept it, figure out your differences, knowing that while you will not always see eye to eye, no other person on this Earth will support you like she will. Tell her you love her often! After all, she is a gift from God straight to you – your parents think that Graeson is theirs…really she is all yours!

I count myself as blessed to have the opportunity to be here with you as you awake this morning and start your day  – you don’t even know it yet, but God is blessing you today!  I watch as you have loved on Sam, your momma’s faithful old dog, and rocked and cared for your baby doll.  You are going to be an amazing big sister!

 

Auntie Jess loves you GA – I can’t wait to meet your sister but most importantly I can’t wait for you to meet her!

 

It’s Festival Time Ya’ll

Here in the South, we love a good spring/summer festival especially if it involves local music and craft beer and wine!  We had the privilege last Friday night to enjoy our little town’s local festival, Field Fest 2018 – the first of 4 installments – and it did not disappoint!  Yes, it rained almost the entire time but that’s just how it goes sometimes…you are best to pull up your rain boots and have fun anyway!

 

We love this time of year…gatherings of people, having fun, shopping, enjoying local music and consuming craft beer or homemade wines!  Husband and I decided last night while musing by one of our first bonfires of the spring/summer in the backyard that we want to attend more festivals this summer!  Field Fest was a great way to get started!  There are also at least 3 festivals I’d wanted to attend last Saturday, the first Saturday in May; but of course we were in the gym all day at a basketball tournament…gotta love being a sports parent!  Go Fury!

A few of our favorite local festivals and music events…Field Fest in Bluefield, Virginia the first Thursday of June, July and August; The Budbreak Festival in Mt. Airy, North Carolina (see my post last year about “boy bracelets” we had an amazing time at this one last year), The Spring Fling at Shelton Vinyards Winery in Dobson, North Carolina. (Delicious wines and a beautiful property paired with tons of local crafters and music…what could be better?), Trail Days in Damascus, Virginia (a dirty trail hiker homecoming) and the Highlands Festival in Abingdon, Virginia. (This one has made some changes in the last five years or so but it is still a really nice week-long event featuring crafts, demonstrations, antiques and an opportunity to see a play at the outstanding Barter Theater or Stage II.)

What are your favorite festival?  We are up for suggestions and new adventures!

Backyard Plans 2018

With a blog name like “A Backyard Life” one would think I post often about my backyard but that’s not always the case.  In fact, I have been neglecting it all together this season.  The winter chill has been relentless this so-called spring and I have not had the desire to forge into cleaning out and planting in our outdoor space only to have frost, wind or snow kill plants, blow things away and freeze me to death in the process.  Also, I am diligently trying to keep our basketball program’s spring training group motivated and spending MUCH more time in the gym and weight room than ever before!

 

Hopefully though a break is coming this week!  While it is the end of April and normally I would have flowers blooming by now, I hope to get started planting and landscaping so that we can relax and enjoy the space!

A few projects on deck for this spring/summer:

Clean Out – I swear our yard gets every bit as cluttered as our tiny house!  The constant wind and rain hasn’t helped keep things tidy either, blowing in trash from all directions!  Part of our clutter problem is also that like our house, we are OUT OF SPACE; the outdoor buildings are full, the storage bins are full and our back porch is littered with things that have no where else to go….it is the perfect time to purge and get rid of some junk!

Flower Bed Building and Maintenance – This is really just an annual task to maintain the existing flower and shrub beds and I have vowed to myself to plant new annuals each year! I also use this time to fill planters with perennials.  I can’t help but think of and feel a connection with my grandmother when planting flowers.  She loved her flower beds and gardens and loved sharing this with me!  One day, when we no longer have kids running through the yard and need green space I will fill the ENTIRE yard with flowers and shrubs!  One Day!

Front Porch and Curb Appeal – I confess that we do not spend much time in our front yard; it isn’t private at all as its close to the road, and we do not enjoy the space.  I do however at least try to keep it tidy as this is the spot where most guests enter our home. The biggest eye sore is our front porch; the concrete is deteriorating and it generally looks like a mess!  I purchased a cute plastic outdoor rug in an attempt to hide it last summer but I am afraid we are going to have to buckle down and fix it already!  Our plan to remedy this situation inexpensively is to deck over it….we will see how that goes! Since I am not skilled at decking a porch on my own and am at Husband’s will on this one, I’ll keep planting flowers on the porch to distract from it until we get to that project!

Outdoor Kitchen and Grill Area – Now this one is our favorite and I anticipate we will tackle this little project first!   We have a small patio in the imprint of an old single car driveway that we have filled in with pavers.  Last year we purchased and installed a grill canopy for our grill/smoker.  This year a Blackstone Griddle is on my Husband’s wish list and we are in need of a new dining table.  I want to make the small space more efficient; we try to cook outdoors as much as possible in the summer months!!

A Clothesline – I have been hinting to Husband about this one for MANY years now, hopefully this year will be the one!  I love the smell of line-dried laundry and it conserves energy too!  Our poor dryer could use the break!

What are your favorite outdoor projects?  I have a Pinterest Board full of ideas!  (Backyard and Garden).  We have a little sunshine trying to peek through today….I can’t wait to get started!

 

School Lunch Ideas

84….That is the number of school lunches I have left to pack before the school semester ends and my kiddos are home for the summer and my grocery budget has a little breathing room!  Packing lunches for 3 “kids” on a daily basis is not an easy task and thanks to new school dietary regulations my kids won’t even consider a hot lunch at school!  Even more daunting, my so-called kids are 17, 13 and 7; not all of them are eating the same thing, so the days of 3 PB&J sandwiches are long gone!

Our son hardly eats at all; he rivals Ralphie’s little brother in A Christmas Story, even the little piggies could not get him to eat a piece of fruit or take a bite of a veggie!  So, for Hayden its a cheese sandwich or a pizza Lunchable and a mozzarella cheese stick everyday! Yes, I know that’s two cheese items but as long as he is eating something I don’t complain because he is more than happy not to eat at all!  I also include a granola bar (which he only eats on occasion) and a Carnation Instant Breakfast.  I have determined that if he refuses to eat, at least he can drink some decent stuff for his little body!  The struggle is real with this kid!

Our older girls are athletes and I try to pay special attention to pack them a lunch that allows them to properly fuel their bodies for practices and performance after the school day is complete.  We also try to ensure they are getting “good” foods and less carbs and junk.  Here is a list of the foods I pack for them:

 

Big Girl Lunch:

Homemade chicken salad with crackers or croissant

Spinach salad with cheese, croutons and bacon or pepperoni – I founds the cutest little dressing dispensers)

Pasta salad

Sharp cheddar cheese with cashews and cranberries or raisins (This is a substitute for the Sargento Snack Breaks – saves a ton of money)

Fresh fruit or a cup of fruit in 100% juice.

Granola bars

Sandwiches (Christina, our oldest is now our only PB&J eater!)

Gatorade/Water

Yogurt and granola

Carrots and ranch dip

Homemade brownies  made with Organic Greens

I am always on the lookout to balance things they will eat with healthy and nutritious snacks that will fuel their bodies through the rest of the day!  What are your best school lunch ideas for big kids or adults??